I DON'T OWN A HANDBAG, BUT IF I DID.............................

No I don't own a handbag, there are several (far too many in my view) in our house all belonging to the my wife but no I don't actually own one. But if I did, (a lot of men do have them I understand), I would have a practical one that I could sling on my back. It would be large enough to carry the essentials, wallet, phone, keys, chocolate, perhaps even a small pork pie. It would be black or dark blue and I would take it with me everywhere. It would be my constant companion, a friend for life, I would dress myself so as not to clash with it, we would become as one.

I would not under any circumstances leave my little old friend in my car whilst I went for a walk or visited friends. I wouldn't leave him all alone whilst I shopped or drank tea. I would treasure him and look after him, to lose him would break my heart and cause me lots of problems. Keys would have to be recut, or locks changed. My phone would have to be replaced, credit cards cancelled and new ones applied for. I would have to replenish emergency food supplies but would not be able to do so straight away as I would have no money or means of getting any.

No I don't own a handbag, but if I did....................... we would be inseparable.

REPORTED ROAD TRAFFIC COLLISIONS IN MARCH 2006

I can't quite believe this but I can only find one reported accident on our roads in March. 1228hrs on the 29th of March. A350 at it's junction with Wincombe lane. 3 cars involved minor injuries only.

WATCH OUT, WATCH OUT THERE'S A MOWER THIEF ABOUT.

Spring has finally arrived and the daffodils are looking magnificent, my favourite flower actually but I digress. Spring is the time of year when everything is brought out of its winter slumber by the warm caress of the sun. I've got a feeling we could be in for a really good long summer this year, so prepare for some serious mowing. How is your lawnmower, still covered in last summers grass? Perhaps you stripped it down in September and have just lovingly restored it to working order. Either way men tend to love lawn mowers, we are boys at heart remember and mowers are big boys toys. Perhaps you have a ride-on, fantastic! Can I come and have a go on it? (sorry got carried away, I've always wanted one). So why I am I waxing lyrical about lawnmowers? Well there is someone who is as interested in your mower as you are and he too is waking up and looking forward to summer. Yes, you've guessed it, we've mentioned him before, our old friend the spotty faced, greasy haired, can't be bothered to get a job, bane of our lives, lawn mower thief. He will of course have any other garden tools that you may leave out for him. So take precautions, postcode your tools, note down serial numbers and lock them away when you are not using them.

REPORTED CRIME & ARRESTS IN MARCH 2006

TISBURY BEAT
(TISBURY, WEST TISBURY, WARDOUR, HATCH, EAST HATCH, WEST HATCH & NEWTOWN)
Beat Officer: PC Mark Steele mark.steele@wiltshire.police.uk
12th Between 7pm and 8pm youths threw stones at a lady in The Causeway, Tisbury.
22nd 1015hrs Telephone kiosk vandalised in Tisbury High Street.
Overnight 27th/28th a window was smashed by a stone in Weaveland Road.
Overnight 27th/28th a silver Subaru Estate was stolen from a driveway in Vicarage Road.
Overnight 31st/1st 3 cars were damaged by vandals in Park Road

TISBURY NORTH BEAT
(BERWICK ST. LEONARD, CHICKSGROVE, CHICKLADE, CHILMARK, FONTHILL BISHOP, FONTHILL GIFFORD, FOVANT, HINDON, RIDGE, SUTTON MANDEVILLE & SWALLOWCLIFFE)
Beat Officer: PC Mark Littlewood mark.littlewood@wiltshire.police.uk
Overnight 9th/10th Scrap metal stolen from premises on the A30 at Sutton Mandeville.
23rd 1540hrs. Window smashed by unknown means at a house in Chilmark.
Overnight 23rd/24th An old horse trailer was stolen from Sutton Mandeville.
28th During the evening a blue Ford escort was stolen from the car park of the Royal Oak, Swallowcliffe.
Overnight 30th/31st Two wheels were stolen from a wheelbarrow left in a garden in Fovant.

TISBURY SOUTH BEAT
(ANSTY, ALVEDISTON, BERWICK ST.JOHN, CHARLTON, THE COOMBES, THE DONHEADS, LUDWELL & TOLLARD ROYAL):
Beat Officer: PC Andy Lee andy.lee@wiltshire.police.uk
During March power tools and an Ifor Williams trailer were stolen from a building site at Birdbush, Ludwell
20th Between 1130hrs and 1300hrs a car parked at Win Green was broken into. Handbag and contents stolen.

MERE BEAT (including BURTON)
Beat Officers: PC Gary Treherne gary.treherne@wiltshire.police.uk and PC Pete Robins pete.robins@wiltshire.police.uk
3rd 1000hrs 2 copper urns stolen from a garden in Shaftesbury Road, Mere.
On the evening of the 7th of March there was a mini-crime wave in Mere. Three elderly person's bungalows were broken into and a large amount of cash was stolen. The people who did this are completely without respect for other people and actively prey on the elderly and vulnerable. They are nothing more than cowardly thieves and we could do with any help you can give. Did you see anything or anyone suspicious in Mere on that evening? Anything no matter how minor may help. (Please be advised extreme restraint has been used whilst typing this article). Also on the same night a blue Ford Mondeo was stolen from Denes Avenue.
10th Male given a street warning for possession of Cannabis. 20th Power stools were stolen from a porch in Wet lane, Mere. 26th male arrested following a domestic related assault.
Between the 24th and the 27th a quantity of steel piping was stolen from a site at Burton.

MERE SOUTH BEAT
(EAST KNOYLE, WEST KNOYLE, SEMLEY, SEDGEHILL & WILLOUGHBY HEDGE)
Beat Officer PC Bob Salter bob.salter@wiltshire.police.uk
In the early hours of the 12th something strange was occurring in East Knoyle. The wing mirrors of four parked cars were interfered with. Stolen, damaged, or dismantled. All very strange. Anyone got any ideas?

MERE NORTH BEAT
(GASPER, KILMINGTON, MAIDEN BRADLEY, NORTON FERRIS, STOURTON, WOLVERTON & ZEALS)
Beat Officer: PC Martin Faulkner martin.faulkner@wiltshire.police.uk
Nothing that I can tell you about!

TISBURY POLICE STATION - OPENING TIMES. (01747-870203)
Monday, Saturday & Sunday - CLOSED.
Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday- 9.00am to 1.00pm. Thursday- 9.00am to 5.00pm.

MERE POLICE STATION – OPENING TIMES. (01747-860268)
Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday from 0930hrs until 1230hrs. Friday from 1600hrs until 1900hrs.
Saturday from 0800hrs until 1100hrs.Thursday and Sunday – CLOSED.

24 HOUR NUMBER 01380-735735. CRIMESTOPPERS 0800-555-111.

If anyone has any information about any of the above listed crimes please give us a ring at Tisbury or Mere. Your help could lead to the apprehension of offenders or the recovery of property. If you would prefer to pass information anonymously (rewards are available) ring CRIMESTOPPERS.

CONTROL ROOM 01722-411444
CRIMESTOPPERS 0800 555 111