TIMELY SCAM REMINDER
It has been bought to my attention that there is a Spanish lottery scam doing the rounds. Thank you for forwarding the letters but PLEASE, NO MORE! This is a typical scam intending to prey on those whose judgement is blinded by naivety, gullibility, stupidity or greed. There are numerous mail and e-mail scams doing the rounds from time to time, so here is some all encompassing advice on scams.
If you receive a letter in the post notifying you that your Dutch, Spanish, Italian, Mexican, Canadian, French, African, Martian lottery tickets bear the winning numbers and you are therefore entitled to the twenty trazillion top prize I would like you to do the following:
Proceed immediately to the nearest waste receptacle or burning fire and throw the letter and envelope into it with as much gusto as you can muster. Whilst doing this shout ‘SCAM – BUSTED’. You can then cackle wildly like a mad professor and sit with a very smug look on your face for the rest of the day.
If you feel yourself taking any other course of action revert to plan B and follow the next set of instructions:
Immediately slap yourself in the face shouting ‘NO, NO, NO, IT ISN’T REAL, IT’S A SCAM’ until you start to follow the first set of instructions. Remember to keep slapping and shouting until you have come to your senses and changed your course of action.
FLY TIPPING – LET’S NAME AND SHAME
Fly tipping makes me angry….very angry. If anyone out there can give me a reason that explains why people do it I would like to know. As far as I can see the reason people fly tip is because they are selfish, uncaring, lazy, thick headed, moronic lowlifes with no respect for other people or the environment that we live in. Sorry if I sound a little right wing but I have said it makes me angry. Fly-tipping, in my opinion should be a hanging offence; amongst other things by the way, again in my opinion, nobody else’s I stress.
If you have any information about fly-tipping we would like to know about it. In particular there have been incidents of fly-tipping on the Fonthill Estate recently and we are keen to find those responsible. If you do know something and you don’t want to tell us please pop into the estate office and let them know.
ENQUIRY OFFICE CLOSURES
You may have read in the local or even national press about the closure of enquiry offices at police stations. The enquiry office at Mere has been closed for over a year now and as of the Monday the 15th of October 2007 the enquiry office at Tisbury has closed its doors to the general public.
It’s not really for me to comment on the reasons for the closure or the arguments against such action. However, I will say this; in an ideal world we would have everything that we wanted. This would include having a doctor, dentist, police officer, lawyer, mechanic, teacher, financial advisor etc at our beck and call to offer advice 24 hours a day. Sadly we do not live in an ideal world and realistically the specialists listed above would spend a lot of time twiddling their thumbs waiting for the next advice seeker. Times change, sometimes, but not always, for the better.
The only enquiry offices open in Wiltshire are at Salisbury, Melksham and Swindon. Opening hours: Mon to Sat, 9am – 8pm. Sun & Bank Holidays 10am – 6pm
ROAD TRAFFIC COLLISIONS SEPTEMBER
1st 0953hrs A303 Chicklade. Five car shunt, no injuries (city dwellers).
2nd 2313hrs A303 Willoughby Hedge. Three car shunt (more city dwellers).
6th 1726hrs B3081 at the top of Zig Zag hill. A car went through the fence, driver suffered minor injuries.
9th 0623hrs B3092 Maiden Bradley to Frome road. Car drove off road into hedge.
9th 1409hrs Maiden Bradley. Car versus tractor. Tractor won (they always do).
13th 0723hrs A303/A350. Two lorries collided, blamed manure on the road, sound like bulls**t to me.
14th 1627hrs The Avenue, Tisbury. Elderly woman drove into a parked car.
18th 0811hrs A3030 Zeals. Car left the road and hit a sign.
18th 1646hrs A303 Mere bypass. Car left road and into a ditch.
23rd 1024hrs West Knoyle. Car left road via hedge. (sign, ditch, hedge – that’s a full house!)
23rd 2156hrs B3092 Maiden Bradley to Frome road. Car v lorry, car driver badly injured.
24th 0906hrs Mere. Car knocked over pedestrian who suffered bruising.
29th 2313hrs A303 Willoughby Hedge. Car crashed, driver arrested for drink driving.
REPORTED CRIME & ARRESTS IN SEPTEMBER
PCs Mark Steele & Mark Littlewood and PCSO Kim Thick
1st Car damaged in The Square, Tisbury, tyres slashed, paintwork scratched.
4th Window smashed at the bowling club. Local youngster spoken to. Damage being paid for by parents.
5th Two stone lions stolen from outside a house in Tisbury.
6th Locked bicycle stolen from Tisbury railway station.
6th Two windows smashed at The Nadder Hall in Tisbury.
7th Youth threw stone at car causing damage.
7th House burgled in Donhead St Mary. Cash stolen.
13th Thieves stole heavy duty electric cable from Sandroyd School.
15th Several reports of items being stolen from tents at The Larmer tree gardens during a music festival.
18th Cash stolen from a handbag at the Hinton Hall.
18th 15 year old girl grabbed from behind by a man in Tisbury High Street. She struggled and he ran off.
23rd 20kilos of lead (worth £900) stolen from the roof of a house in Donhead St Mary.
28th Three local people assaulted in Tisbury by the same known person. Three cars also damaged believed connected. A local man to be interviewed.
29th 150 French Partridge poults stolen from a farm in Fovant.
30th Tin containing £321 cash raised for charity stolen from Tisbury Fire Station. Whoever you are – shame on you. If you had any guts you would own up and return it.
PC Richard Salter and PCSO Mike Tryhorn
3rd Man broke windows of his mother’s house on two occasions whilst drunk. He also assaulted his ex-wife and son. Arrested and charged.
5th Ifor Williams trailer and pressure washer stolen from a workshop in Mere.
9th John Deere ride-on mower stolen from car port in Semley.
13th Hedge trimmer and binoculars stolen from an unlocked car in Zeals.
14th Compressor stolen from Stourhead.
19th House burgled in Mere whilst occupants away.
22nd Rice Beaufort horsebox stolen from Zeals.
22nd Car stolen from garage in Norton Ferris.
23rd Car broken into in Kilmington mobile phone charger stolen.
24th Man drove into Willoughby Hedge garage, filled up with diesel and drove off without paying.
26th Car window smashed by vandal in Stourton.
26th Garage broken into in Zeals, nothing stolen.
26th Car broken into in Zeals. CD player stolen.
26th Car broken into near Maiden Bradley. Handbag stolen. Craftily hidden under the seat by the lady owner. Sadly thieves always look under the seats!!!
28th Copper pipe and tools stolen from van in Mere.
29th Man left his mobile phone on the bar in a pub in Mere. Someone nicked it. Well well well.
30th Man in Mere issued a fixed penalty notice for disorderly behaviour.
IF IN DOUBT SMILE. IT CAN DO NO HARM. THIS IS A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE.
How do you contact us?
E-mail is best – email@example.com or Richard.firstname.lastname@example.org. However I appreciate that lots of people don’t have access to e-mail. You could drop a note in at Tisbury or Mere Police Station using the old fashioned pen and paper method or you could try phoning us on 0845 408 7000 extension 746815 (Tisbury) or 749817 (Mere). The only problem with phoning is that we do not sit in the Police Station perched on the edge of our seats waiting for the phone to ring so it could be that the phone will just ring. If you do ring 0845 408 7000 you could also ask the person answering to send us an e-mail asking that we contact you. It’s your choice. Remember, if you don’t tell us what the problems are we have no chance of solving them.
Wiltshire Police 0845
408 7000 24
TISBURY POLICE STATION - OPENING TIMES. (01747-870203)
Monday, Saturday & Sunday - CLOSED.
Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday- 9.00am to 1.00pm. Thursday- 9.00am
MERE POLICE STATION – OPENING
Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday from 0930hrs until 1230hrs. Friday
from 1600hrs until 1900hrs.
Saturday from 0800hrs until 1100hrs.Thursday and Sunday – CLOSED.
24 HOUR NUMBER 01380-735735. CRIMESTOPPERS 0800-555-111.
If anyone has any information about
any of the above listed crimes please give us a ring at Tisbury
or Mere. Your help could lead to the apprehension of offenders or
the recovery of property. If you would prefer to pass information
anonymously (rewards are available) ring CRIMESTOPPERS.
CONTROL ROOM 01722-411444
CRIMESTOPPERS 0800 555 111